STRANGEST PHONE CALL EVER

Okay guys In my line of work I get some really strange calls and requests no biggie.
But this one was the icing on the cake.
So my phone rings I look at the caller Id it says DMC.
I am thinking oh maybe it is 1 of the many doctors that comes to see me.
So I answer and this guy is on the line and he starts to explain his medical condition to me.
the guy is actually in the hospital down in detroit.
He has had several seguries in the prostate area.
He begins to tell me he needs to release. He says he has not had a release in a year.
Now all the while he is talking I am thinking dude u in the damn hospital surrounded by doctors and nurses what the fuck do u think I can do for u.
But u know I still listen to him and let him finish his story.
So the jist of this phone call was the guy wanted me to come to the hospital and give him a prostate massage.
WTF!
But of course all I would of had to bring would have been lube because there are plenty of rubber gloves in the hospital rooms.
[oh whenever I visit people in th e hospital I still all the rubber gloves in their rooms]
But anyway can u imagine me busting up in th ehospital saying all u Doctors I know u gone to school for 15 years but I here now .
I am going to get this patients right.
Move out of my way.
Could u imagin I got this guy flipped over on his stomach I am up on his hospital bed with my finger up his butt and any of the hospital staff walking in on me.
I think I would go to jail.
But this guy has called me several times since.
trying to get me to come to the hospital
maybe he is in the psyche ward.

LUBE!!!

Hey Guys I just wanted to chat a little about lube and the different kinds on the market.
I have tried them all I think lol.
Well to start I first used Ky jelly warming sensation. yea that went over real well.
The first guy was like his buthole was on fire. He said it was burning really bad.
I thought he was just being winey. So I got a washcloth with cool water and helped him out.
Then the next guy came in, and after I was finished with his massage. He told me he thought his prostate was on fire. He jumping up and down and fanning his ass. the guy turned brite red in the face. ok No go.
SO IN THE GARBAGE CAN THAT GOES.
Next up was this lube that had a desensitizer in it.
{I think this lube was for gay sex or anal sex.}
Well my first customer of the day comes in I ask him if he has ever had a prostate massage b4
he responds no. So I think perfect he is a virgin he probably needs the desensitizing lube here we go.
I am doing his massage we are talking,we have a good conversation flow going he seems relaxed.
So I start his prostate massage I squeeze a little lube on my finger. Since I am in virgin territory I massage around his butthole for a while to get him comfortable then I insert my finger and start to massage his prostate. Well he seems pretty quiet so I ask him how is everything and he says I cant feel anything. I am like what? This guy tells me he is completly numb Cant fell a thing.I am like Damn This is fucked up
So I have him to turn over on his back .This guy TELLS me he feels like I put novacaine up his ass.
Okay toss that lube in the garbage
So others that I have tried
Boy Butter
Navy Swiss
astroglide
Fruity booty
Anal ease
and man grease
but the best lube is
Astroglide and boy butter.
Oh And guys feel free to chime in
tell me what u think
do u have a favorite lube.
lets talk